Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Call of the Wild..

I just recently returned from a three day event in Sedona Arizona, and filming for a new documentary film called "Hope for Humanity" produced by Voice Entertainment, and a small weekend side trip to Vegas. It was only 8 days out of my ordinary life, that felt like several weeks.
I recalled looking out my hotel window one afternoon, watching the busy streets below, the bright lights of the city, and in the far off background, the beautiful mountain ranges that decorated the horizon like jagged jewels. It was like watching two very different worlds collide. One made of people, and the other made by nature. I wondered at human behaviour, and our ability to lose ourselves in a world catering to every whim. As I walked through the hotels, and down the strip, I watched as people lost themselves in the bright lights, and sounds that filled the air all around them. Myself included at times...
But something kept bringing me back to myself. I would see past the blazing lights on billboards, and see the stars shining in the sky. The pull I felt was undeniable. High up on the 28th floor in my hotel, I had a birds eye view of the city below me. The mountains had the same effect. I was pulled there, vs being seduced by the indulgence of the streets below.
I remember sitting there one day, and knowing the mountains on the horizon represented who I am; the wild, untouched, raw feeling of getting back to my roots, and leaving behind, when I have too, the ready made man made world around me.
My life has so significantly changed over the last few years. I can enjoy the man made worlds we live in, appreciate their use in my life, but for the first time, I truly felt that they are not who I am. I came to realize how much I love my freedom, and my space. How fulfilled being out in nature makes me feel. How doing the work I do feeds me on a levels I never thought possible.

It is like realizing that life is a dream. That I can choose to participate in any number of universes right here in my own world. That you can step into someone else's dream, stay awhile, and leave if you like, that everyone carries there own self-created universe around with them.
We cross now and then. We over lap. Co-mingle. It can be enjoyable to share dreams, and wrap around each other, but in the end you still have to continue on your own way. Sometimes side by side, and sometimes very far away from one another.

I looked at the view before me, and I saw beauty on both sides. I could appreciate the power each held. I could walk in both places. One foot in each place even. But in the end, it was the mountains I belong too. The wild.

As I walked the strip at night, I found myself standing on a bridge. What is it with me and bridges! I felt everyone walk by me, and although I was surrounded by constant movement, I felt time stand still. I looked down at the water below me, and was reminded of my time in Cairo. How many strange and wonderful things that have happened since I returned. I smiled to myself, and felt completely whole as a human being. I felt like I was living a storyline. The fun part was knowing, I was writing it. That I could change it at any point I wanted. But I just let it happen. I flowed with it. I closed my eyes right there on that very spot, and I felt a kinship with everyone around me. I looked up at the moon, and knew deep down inside, I was home within myself.

I feel massive change coming in my life. Just when you think its already happened....you get more. I know my life will never be the same, and that the days ahead hold much transition for me. I'm glad. I'm ready.

The Southwest holds a very special place in my heart, and every time I visit, something magical happens. this time was no different. Again the lessons can happen in the strangest places...and in ways you least expect them too.

Now what happened the night we were watching the Full Moon rise on Cathedral rock in Sedona...is another story! To be continued...

xoxo
Hillary

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