Sunday, September 2, 2007
Doing it on Your Own
How do you deal with being on your own? Do you fear it? Does it bring up all your abandonment issues?Are you able to live financially independent?
Many women I speak to say their lives would be very different if they were able to financially support themselves. Perhaps they are in an unhappy or unhealthy relationships, yet they stay because they are taken care of financially. Perhaps they have spent there whole life together and they wont leave because they feel they have earned what is rightfully theirs after their spouse passes away. So they stay.
Either way, something happens energetically. We give up our lives.
Moving out on your own, whether it is financially, or otherwise, is a huge undertaking and act of power. Separating yourself financially can be a huge task and often very daunting.
So we stay. Used to the routines, the safety, the predictability, we give up who we are and turn our personal power, and our dreams over to the safety of being married. How often do you take inventory of who you are energetically? What do I mean by that? I mean how often do you check within and see where your energy goes.
How are you distracting yourself ? What would you be doing with your life if you had no drama or distractions? So often is the case, we surrender ourselves energetically and offer up our energy to others. We do that in many ways.
How much control does money have in your life? See if there is any relation to how much control you have, whether it is in relationships, acts of power, job choice.
How much time do you devote to it?
Time is energy and what we think about is too, so when we consume ourselves with distractions, we spread out our energy very thin and nothing ever really becomes anything.
We spend our time doing a little of everything but never moving fully into our own. Always wanting someone to take care of us, do things for us, be our mothers and nurture us. Often this is from growing up cold. Without love.
What is missing? What are you wasting time, money and energy on? Do you consume yourself with making more, getting more, being more? Do you compare yourself to your neighbor and what they have?
Its all ONE BIG distraction, from doing something with your life. Period.
God did not put you here to doing nothing with yourself or your life. Who are you besides a wife, mother and your title at work? Who is underneath all of it?
Being independent is not only about your money and being able to support yourself, its about being able to except yourself and who you are no matter what.
Its about holding up your light high, along with your head, and walking with your shoulders back and being proud of all you are.
Nobody can take you away from you unless you let them!
Put your power and energy into yourself too. Don't let stressful careers and drama take your energy and dilute it and spread it too thin. You are only hurting yourself if you do.
What is YOUR dream? How will YOU make that happen? What are the steps? Don't waste another day chasing other peoples dreams. Or giving all of who you are to help someone else become successful. Take your own dream, and put your own power into it and move on. Know when the timing is right and act on it.
You can have a healthy relationship financially with another person, as long as it is a healthy relationship, not tainted with jealousy, greed and other dark emotions. Being open with money, being able to take and give equally, and holding your own boundaries and being able to support one another in love and joy is the balance you are looking for.
Being married doesn't mean you have to hide money, hoard it and stash it somewhere so your spouse wont get any. Its about having your own money because you earn your own money and you and your spouse have your own dreams that should be equally respected and nurtured by both of you.
Its all about balance. Balancing your checkbook, your relationships, your job and your dreams and making sure your energy is distributed equally just like your stock portfolio.
If your smart about it, the pay offs will be very rewarding.
till next time...
Posted by Hillary Raimo at 1:06 PM